{"id":21794,"date":"2015-03-14T08:16:47","date_gmt":"2015-03-14T08:16:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.marianagurza.ro\/blog\/?p=21794"},"modified":"2015-03-14T08:16:47","modified_gmt":"2015-03-14T08:16:47","slug":"dorel-schor-schite-umoristice-29-%e2%80%93-cum-era-sa-devin-deputat","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marianagurza.ro\/blog\/2015\/03\/14\/dorel-schor-schite-umoristice-29-%e2%80%93-cum-era-sa-devin-deputat\/","title":{"rendered":"Dorel Schor: Schi\u021be umoristice (29) \u2013 Cum era s\u0103 devin deputat"},"content":{"rendered":"<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.marianagurza.ro\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/SCHOR-Dorel-wb.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-21795\" title=\"SCHOR-Dorel-wb\" src=\"http:\/\/www.marianagurza.ro\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/SCHOR-Dorel-wb-281x300.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"281\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.marianagurza.ro\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/SCHOR-Dorel-wb-281x300.jpg 281w, https:\/\/www.marianagurza.ro\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/SCHOR-Dorel-wb.jpg 600w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 281px) 100vw, 281px\" \/><\/a>Nu am fost prea \u00eenc\u00e2ntat c\u00e2nd am primit misiunea de a \u0163ine un ciclu de conferin\u0163e pe teme electorale. Din trei motive: mie nu imi plac conferin\u0163ele, nu \u00eemi plac ciclurile \u015fi nu-mi place politica. In plus, fusesem repartizat la o institu\u0163ie medical\u0103 deosebit\u0103 pentru care nu aveam nici cea mai mic\u0103 atrac\u0163ie. Nu aveam \u00eens\u0103 nici de ales, fiind o ac\u0163iune de voluntariat&#8230; Am fost primit destul de amabil, portarul a citit cu aten\u0163ie permisul de intrare (&#8220;domnul&#8230; este autorizat s\u0103 intre \u00een zilele de luni \u015fi joi&#8230;&#8221;) \u015fi mi-a explicat cum s\u0103 ajung la publicul care m\u0103 a\u015ftepta cu ner\u0103bdare:<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">&#8211; Sala de conferin\u0163e se afl\u0103 \u00een pavilionul B, etajul unu, sec\u0163ia de bolnavi neviolen\u0163i&#8230;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">M-a primit cu aplauze un public foarte civilizat, alc\u0103tuit din surori, felceri, c\u00e2\u0163iva medici cu barb\u0103 \u015fi numero\u015fi cet\u0103\u0163eni interna\u0163i pentru nevroze ciudate, obsesii nevinovate, fobii moderne. De la \u00eenceput vreau s\u0103 notez c\u0103, \u00een ciuda unor prejudec\u0103\u0163i, to\u0163i ace\u015fti participan\u0163i prezint\u0103 un indice de inteligen\u0163\u0103 cu nimic mai sc\u0103zut dec\u00e2t multe persoane cu putere de decizie. Ba, a\u015f spune c\u0103 dimpotriv\u0103. Din acest motiv, discursul meu s-a bucurat de un incomparabil succes, iar str\u00e2ngerile de m\u00e2n\u0103 din final m-au convins c\u0103, probabil, am ratat o frumoas\u0103 carier\u0103 de politician. Am plecat foarte \u00eenc\u00e2ntat, dar numai p\u00e2n\u0103 la poarta institu\u0163iei. Aici am \u00eent\u00e2mpinat primul meu obstacol, ca om politic&#8230; Portarul, unul nou, mi-a cerut permisul. L-a examinat foarte atent, l-a sucit, l-a r\u0103sucit, l-a privit de departe \u015fi de aproape, apoi a decis:<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">&#8211; Nu po\u0163i ie\u015fi de aici!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">&#8211; Adic\u0103 cum? m-am mirat eu sincer.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">&#8211; Adic\u0103 r\u0103m\u00e2i! a precizat individul. Uit\u0103-te \u015fi tu: scrie c\u0103 ai voie s\u0103 intri? Scrie&#8230; Dar nu scrie c\u0103 ai voie s\u0103 ie\u015fi! \u015ei de aici nu iese absolut nimeni f\u0103r\u0103 bilet de externare!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">&#8211; Prietene drag\u0103, am \u00eencercat s\u0103-l conving, eu sunt politician, un viitor deputat, sunt un om important, nu fereasc\u0103 dumnezeu un&#8230;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">&#8211; E acela\u015f lucru,a precizat individul. S\u0103 fii mata s\u0103n\u0103tos c\u00e2\u0163i politicieni, diploma\u0163i, \u015foferi. bancheri, negustori, scriitori, doctori, avoca\u0163i \u015fi chiar farmaci\u015fti au trecut pe aici&#8230;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Dup\u0103 regulament avea dreptate. L-am rugat s\u0103-mi permit\u0103 s\u0103 vorbesc cu directorul, cu vreun \u015fef de sec\u0163ie, s\u0103 l\u0103murim problema. Mi-a explicat c\u0103 respectivii nu sunt \u015fefii lui, el f\u0103c\u00e2nd parte dintr-o societate de paz\u0103 specializat\u0103, tocmai pentru a face nul\u0103 orice interven\u0163ie de acest fel.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">&#8211; Dar eu sunt conferen\u0163iar, i-am amintit.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">&#8211; Uite, a\u015fa \u00eencepe la to\u0163i, a decis el&#8230; \u00cent\u00e2i e conferen\u0163iar, dup\u0103 aia spune c\u0103-i Napoleon, Stalin sau tot felul de al\u0163i arti\u015fti sau dansatori&#8230;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Cum am ie\u015fit totu\u015fi de acolo? Numai datorit\u0103 perspicacit\u0103\u0163ii mele cu totul deosebite \u015fi a unui sim\u0163 diplomatic \u00een\u0103scut.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">&#8211; Dragul meu, i-am spus cerberului, scumpule, m\u0103 bazez pe inteligen\u0163a \u00a0\u015fi responsabilitatea dumitale! Prive\u015fte aici, la adeverin\u0163\u0103. Scrie &#8220;autorizat s\u0103 intre luni \u015fi joi&#8221;? E adev\u0103rat&#8230; Azi e luni, nu-i a\u015fa!? \u00cen cazul acesta trebuie s\u0103 ies acum ca s\u0103 pot s\u0103 intru \u00eenc\u0103 o dat\u0103 joi. P\u0103i, dac\u0103 nu ies, spune \u015fi matale, cum o s\u0103 intru?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Tipul s-a sc\u0103rpinat \u00een cre\u015ftet vreo patru minute \u015fi a decis:<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">&#8211; Bine, dar s\u0103-\u0163i faci rost de un bilet de ie\u015fire alt\u0103dat\u0103, \u00een care s\u0103 se men\u0163ioneze c\u0103 nu e\u015fti periculos.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Alt\u0103data? O s\u0103 mai a\u015ftepte cu to\u0163ii mult \u015fi bine&#8230; Cine poate s\u0103 garanteze c\u0103 un politician nu e periculos?<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>Dorel SCHOR<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>Tel Aviv, Israel<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>12 martie 2015<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Nu am fost prea \u00eenc\u00e2ntat c\u00e2nd am primit misiunea de a \u0163ine un ciclu de conferin\u0163e pe teme electorale. Din [&#038;hellip<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-21794","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-articole"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marianagurza.ro\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21794","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marianagurza.ro\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marianagurza.ro\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marianagurza.ro\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marianagurza.ro\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=21794"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.marianagurza.ro\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21794\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":21797,"href":"https:\/\/www.marianagurza.ro\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21794\/revisions\/21797"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marianagurza.ro\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=21794"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marianagurza.ro\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=21794"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marianagurza.ro\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=21794"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}