{"id":22096,"date":"2015-03-21T15:46:17","date_gmt":"2015-03-21T15:46:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.marianagurza.ro\/blog\/?p=22096"},"modified":"2015-03-21T15:47:04","modified_gmt":"2015-03-21T15:47:04","slug":"dorel-schor-schite-umoristice-30-%e2%80%93-ah-ce-te-invidiez","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marianagurza.ro\/blog\/2015\/03\/21\/dorel-schor-schite-umoristice-30-%e2%80%93-ah-ce-te-invidiez\/","title":{"rendered":"Dorel SCHOR: Schi\u021be umoristice (30) \u2013 Ah, ce te invidiez !"},"content":{"rendered":"<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.marianagurza.ro\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/SCHOR-Dorel-wb1.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" title=\"SCHOR-Dorel-wb\" src=\"http:\/\/www.marianagurza.ro\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/SCHOR-Dorel-wb1-281x300.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"281\" height=\"300\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">&#8211; De m\u00e2ine intru \u00een concediu pe dou\u0103 s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2ni, z\u00e2mbe\u015fte mul\u0163umit Menase. Am de g\u00e2nd s\u0103-mi fac de cap&#8230; \u00cen primul r\u00e2nd, arunc undeva de\u015ftept\u0103torul, s\u0103 nu-l v\u0103d, s\u0103 nu-l aud. Dorm c\u00e2t intr\u0103-n mine! M\u0103 scol, \u00eemi fac o cafelu\u0163\u0103 tare, bine calculat\u0103, aburind\u0103, b\u0103ut\u0103 \u00een tihn\u0103, cu o \u0163igar\u0103 bun\u0103, o pl\u0103cere&#8230; M\u0103 plimb \u00een pijama c\u00e2t poftesc, iau o revist\u0103 bun\u0103, m\u0103 tol\u0103nesc \u00eentr-un fotoliu&#8230; Am s\u0103 fiu ca regele Portugaliei&#8230;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">&#8211; Ah, ce te invidiez! Spune domnul Ghezuntertoit.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">&#8211; \u015ei dup\u0103 aia, continu\u0103 Menase, deschid televizorul \u015fi m\u0103 uit la programul pentru copii. Eu m\u0103 dau \u00een v\u00e2nt dup\u0103 desene animate. Sunt cele mai reu\u015fite emisiuni din c\u00e2te exist\u0103. Pot s\u0103 r\u00e2d \u00een voie, s\u0103 privesc c\u00e2t poftesc, am s\u0103 fiu st\u0103p\u00e2n absolut pe timpul meu, pe fotoliul meu, pe salonul meu. M\u0103 voi sim\u0163i c\u0103 pre\u015fedintele din Insula Pa\u015ftelui&#8230;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">&#8211; Of, ce te invidiez!! Ofteaz\u0103 domnul Ghezuntertoit.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">&#8211; A\u015fa, \u015fi dup\u0103 aceea \u00eemi pun un disc, am o duzin\u0103 pe care nu am timp niciodat\u0103 s\u0103 le ascult. \u00cemi pun deci un disc, iau un roman de aventuri sau ni\u015fte jocuri de cuvinte \u00eencruci\u015fate \u015fi m\u0103 dedic \u00een \u00eentregime acestei activit\u0103\u0163i f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 m\u0103 intereseze nici buletinul meteorologic, nici cursul actiunilior la burs\u0103, nici nimic&#8230; Am s\u0103 m\u0103 simt ca pa\u015fa din Tailanda&#8230;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">&#8211; Vai, ce te invidiez!! Exclam\u0103 domnul Ghezuntertoit.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">&#8211; Dup\u0103 aia ies la o plimb\u0103ric\u0103, continua cu voluptate Menase. F\u0103r\u0103 nici un plan prestabilit. Unde m\u0103 poart\u0103 pa\u015fii, acolo ajung. M\u0103 \u00eent\u00e2lnesc cu unul, cu altul, beau o bere cu un prieten, asta are efect reconfortant mai ceva dec\u00e2t cel mai bun medicament. Ce mai, m\u0103 voi sim\u0163i c\u0103 un prim ministru din Tropicul Racului&#8230;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">&#8211; M\u0103i ce te invidiez, suspin\u0103 domnul Ghezuntertoit.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">&#8211; \u015ei dup\u0103 aia, m\u0103 \u00eentorc acas\u0103, nu conteaz\u0103 la ce or\u0103&#8230; Nu sunt \u00een propriul meu concediu legal de odihn\u0103? \u00cemi aranjez un pr\u00e2nz pe cinste, \u00eemi fac siesta cu ziarul, fac un du\u015f prelungit, trag un pui de somn \u015fi c\u00e2nd se face ora patru, dau vreo dou\u0103 telefoane. Am un prieten la Holon \u015fi o rud\u0103 la Ierusalim, mai schimb\u0103m o impresie, mai un banc acolo, m\u0103 simt ca dictatorul din Bermude&#8230;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">&#8211; Ai, ai, ce mult te invidiez!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">&#8211; Seara, continua Menase, am de g\u00e2nd s\u0103 m\u0103 port ca un nabab&#8230; O s\u0103 ies \u00een centru \u015fi o s\u0103-mi cump\u0103r un falafel bine ardeiat. Bine\u00een\u0163eles c\u0103 nu chiar \u00een fiecare sear\u0103. Alt\u0103 dat\u0103 o s\u0103 iau semin\u0163e de floarea soarelui pr\u0103jite \u015fi s\u0103rate&#8230; Poate o s\u0103 intru chiar la un cinematograf, c\u0103 nu am mai fost de vreo doi ani. Am de g\u00e2nd s\u0103 m\u0103 simt c\u0103 emirul din Paris.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">&#8211; Doamne, c\u00e2t te invidiez! Aproape strig\u0103 domnul Ghezuntertoit.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">&#8211; Ascult\u0103, domnule! Se treze\u015fte \u00een sf\u00e2r\u015fit Menase. \u00cen\u0163eleg c\u0103 m\u0103 invidiezi dar, la urma urmelor, ai putea \u015fi dumneata s\u0103-\u0163i permi\u0163i a\u015fa un lux ca mine. Mai las\u0103 naibii, pentru o vreme, afacerile \u015fi specula\u0163iile financiare, ia-\u0163i \u015fi matale dou\u0103 s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2ni libere \u015fi f\u0103-\u0163i de cap. Cine te \u00eempiedica?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">&#8211; Ehei, zice Ghezuntertoit, \u0163ie \u0163i-e u\u015for s\u0103 vorbe\u015fti&#8230; \u015ei ce s\u0103 fac cu excursia \u00een Orientul \u00eendep\u0103rtat, pe care am pl\u0103tit-o? Numai c\u00e2nd m\u0103 g\u00e2ndesc c\u0103 n-am s\u0103 m\u0103 pot scula c\u00e2nd vreau, s\u0103 m\u0103 plimb \u00een pijama, s\u0103 citesc ziarul \u015fi s\u0103 dau telefon la Holon \u015fi la Ierusalim, \u00eemi vine s\u0103 plesnesc de necaz. A\u015fa-i via\u0163a! Unii au toate satisfac\u0163iile posibile \u015fi al\u0163ii se chinuiesc pe drumuri ca ni\u015fte comis-voiajori. Unde e\u015fti tu, Dreptate Social\u0103!?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>Dorel SCHOR<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>Tel Aviv, Israel<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>19 martie 2015<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8211; De m\u00e2ine intru \u00een concediu pe dou\u0103 s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2ni, z\u00e2mbe\u015fte mul\u0163umit Menase. Am de g\u00e2nd s\u0103-mi fac de cap&#8230; \u00cen [&#038;hellip<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-22096","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-articole"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marianagurza.ro\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22096","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marianagurza.ro\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marianagurza.ro\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marianagurza.ro\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marianagurza.ro\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=22096"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.marianagurza.ro\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22096\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":22099,"href":"https:\/\/www.marianagurza.ro\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22096\/revisions\/22099"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marianagurza.ro\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=22096"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marianagurza.ro\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=22096"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marianagurza.ro\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=22096"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}