{"id":23958,"date":"2015-05-22T09:08:03","date_gmt":"2015-05-22T09:08:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.marianagurza.ro\/blog\/?p=23958"},"modified":"2015-05-22T09:08:03","modified_gmt":"2015-05-22T09:08:03","slug":"premiul-nobel-pentru-ghicit-schita-umoristica-de-dorel-schor","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marianagurza.ro\/blog\/2015\/05\/22\/premiul-nobel-pentru-ghicit-schita-umoristica-de-dorel-schor\/","title":{"rendered":"Premiul Nobel pentru ghicit – schi\u0163\u0103 umoristic\u0103 de Dorel Schor"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u00a0\"\"<\/a>Suntem dispu\u015fi \u00een form\u0103 de stea de mare. De fapt, madam Gurni\u015ft e steaua, \u00een jurul ei ne afl\u0103m numai vecinii b\u0103rba\u0163i \u015fi o ascult\u0103m curio\u015fi.<\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0– Prietenei mele din Ierusalim i s-a \u00eent\u00e2mplat o nenorocire mare, ceva de necrezut. So\u0163ul ei era \u00eentr-o deplasare \u00een Cipru…Nu \u015ftiu ce \u015fi cum devine cazul \u015fi se \u00eentoarce dumnealui mai devreme… Tocmai c\u00e2nd se afla la ea \u00een vizit\u0103 un prieten din tinere\u0163e, un turist din America…<\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0– Cunoa\u015ftem noi, zice sec Boris Glazpapier. Capitali\u015ftii \u0103\u015ftia, dac\u0103 au bani, cred c\u0103 totul e de v\u00e2nzare… Femei, sentimente, apartamente… \u015etim noi!<\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0– Da’ de unde, \u00eel \u00eentrerupe madam Gurni\u015ft. O veche dragoste… Dar so\u0163ul nu-l cuno\u015ftea \u015fi de aici toat\u0103 nenorocirea. Ia s\u0103 v\u0103d dac\u0103 ghici\u0163i ce s-a \u00eent\u00e2mplat.<\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0– I-a \u00eempu\u015fcat pe am\u00e2ndoi! presupune Eliahu Iliescu. A mai fost a\u015fa un caz acum doi ani, s-a spus \u015fi la televizor, pac, pac \u015fi gata.<\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0– Crezi matale, puncteaz\u0103 steaua. Altcineva? Cine are alt\u0103 p\u0103rere?<\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0– P\u0103i, opiniaz\u0103 Leopold, presupun c\u0103 so\u0163ul i-a iertat, dar ca s\u0103-i pedepseasc\u0103 pentru toat\u0103 via\u0163a, s-a sinucis.<\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0– Tu s\u0103 taci, \u00eei strig\u0103 nevasta. Mormolocule… S-auzim o variant\u0103 logic\u0103.<\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0– Eu cred, zice Simon \u015eeinerovici, c\u0103 dac\u0103 era un om inteligent, l-a obligat pe american s-o ia pe respectiva so\u0163ie de nevast\u0103. Cea mai bun\u0103 r\u0103zbunare asta ar fi… Ha, ha, ha…\u00a0 S-o ia \u0103la!<\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0– Ha, ha, ha, \u00eel \u00eeng\u0103n\u0103 madam Gurni\u015ft. Crezi c\u0103 americanii sunt fraieri? Ce p\u0103rere ai matale? se adres\u0103 lui Mena\u015fe.<\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0– P\u0103i, \u015ftiu \u015fi eu, bolborose\u015fte Mena\u015fe. \u00cent\u00e2mplarea asta e adev\u0103rat\u0103?<\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0– Cum m\u0103 vezi \u015fi te v\u0103d.<\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0– Atunci, \u00a0probabil c\u0103 tipul care era \u00een vizit\u0103 s-a retras discret \u015fi de atunci so\u0163ul o omoar\u0103 cu repro\u015furi. Cum femeia vrea ceva, s\u0103-\u015fi cumpere pantofi, sau o bluz\u0103 sau mai \u015ftiu eu ce, d\u00e2nsul \u00eei \u00eenchide gura cu aventura cu americanul. \u015ei-a asigurat omul lini\u015ftea. Vine el acas\u0103 t\u00e2rziu, nu poate s\u0103-i spun\u0103 nevasta nimic. Bea o bere, dou\u0103 cu amicii \u015fi ea vrea s\u0103-i fac\u0103 scandal, imediat \u00eei aminte\u015fte de…<\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0– N\u0163\u0163, \u0163u\u0163uie madam Gurni\u015ft. Cine ghice\u015fte ia premiul Nobel.<\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0– \u015etiu eu! se \u00eenghesuie domnul Oi\u0163erman. Probabil c\u0103 are loc o discu\u0163ie \u00eentre so\u0163 \u015fi american \u015fi din discu\u0163ie rezult\u0103 c\u0103 de fapt ea are pe altcineva, un al treilea. Atunci cei doi fac o asocia\u0163ie…<\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0– Nooo, \u00eel anuleaz\u0103 madam Gurni\u015ft. C\u0103 e femeie serioas\u0103.<\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0– \u015etiu eu, intervine Marcu. D\u00e2nsa \u00eei iube\u015fte pe am\u00e2ndoi, nu se poate decide \u015fi atunci se \u00eemboln\u0103ve\u015fte de leucemie. Un b\u0103rbat \u015fi o femeie…<\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0– Asta era “Love story”, precizeaz\u0103 Mena\u015fe.<\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0– Hai c\u0103 m-am prins, sare Boris. Americanul nu era b\u0103rbat…<\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0– Dar ce?<\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0– O americanc\u0103…Una din alea. O capitalist\u0103 pervertit\u0103. Atunci so\u0163ul face un infarct afl\u00e2nd c\u0103 nevast\u0103-sa prefer\u0103 femei \u015fi…<\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0– T\u00e2mpenii, \u00eel opre\u015fte decis\u0103 madam Gurni\u015ft. Cine \u015ftie ce reviste idioate cite\u015fti matale. Cum, chiar nimeni nu ghice\u015fte? Nimeni nu vrea premiul Nobel?<\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0Am considerat c\u0103 a venit momentul s\u0103 intervin:<\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0– Au p\u0103r\u0103sit-o am\u00e2ndoi partenerii. \u015ei so\u0163ul \u015fi americanul!<\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0– A\u015fa e! exclam\u0103 dezumflat\u0103 madam Gurni\u015ft. Cum naiba ai ghicit?<\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0– Mi-a spus madam Brodiciche, prietena matale. C\u0103 ea poveste\u015fte f\u0103r\u0103 \u00eentroducere. Ce se aude cu premiul Nobel?<\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0– S\u0103 \u0163i-l dea madam Brodiciche, pleosc\u0103ie ea dezam\u0103git\u0103. Auzi ce ideie, s\u0103-mi strici mie poanta tocmai la sf\u00e2r\u015fit!<\/p>\n

\n

Dr. Dorel Schor<\/p>\n

Tel Aviv, Israel<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00a0Suntem dispu\u015fi \u00een form\u0103 de stea de mare. De fapt, madam Gurni\u015ft e steaua, \u00een jurul ei ne afl\u0103m numai [&hellip<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-23958","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-articole"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marianagurza.ro\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23958","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marianagurza.ro\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marianagurza.ro\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marianagurza.ro\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marianagurza.ro\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=23958"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.marianagurza.ro\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23958\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":23961,"href":"https:\/\/www.marianagurza.ro\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23958\/revisions\/23961"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marianagurza.ro\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=23958"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marianagurza.ro\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=23958"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marianagurza.ro\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=23958"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}